It’s been about a month since my last entry in this blog. I had to take a break to attend to some major life transitional stuff that is beyond the scope of this blog. Nothing bad, in fact just about the most positive sort of life transition that a person can have. Even the positive things require energy, planning, and time. And sometimes, priorities have to shift and things have to give way to manage the inevitable chaos that comes about as a result of change. So I stepped away from this blog, and from practice, to make space to attend to the chaos surrounding the transition.
This is a good lesson about yin and yang, when I step back and think about it. And also a good lesson about Tai Chi in general. Are we ever still, from the moment that we begin the form until we end it? No. There is a constant flux, a dance between yin and yang and nothing is ever completely yin or completely yang except for but a moment, and then it changes its aspect and what was yang now becomes yin, and what was yin now becomes yang.
I am now getting back to a point where the dust has settled enough that I can resume both my practice and my blog. I actually picked up my sword for the first time in many years and began to work on 32-step sword form again. I was a beginner all over again. I have forgotten so much, frustratingly much. But perhaps it’s a good thing to be a beginner again, to experience that beginners mind.
I am lesson behind on my posting, which means that I’m listening to one lesson ahead of what I have posted on. These are my personal thoughts this week, because the lesson I would have posted on was a week that Ruby had lost his voice, so the recording is terrible quality and I decided not to work with it. That’s actually fine, because it gives me a week to catch up and to settle back into the rhythm of practice and posting.
The movements for that particular lesson were “High Pat the Horse” and the heel kicks, movements that require strength and balance and attention to a fair number of details. In difficulty, though, they were only a warm up for the series of movements that were to come next. I have to smile when I review these lessons because I have it all in the rear view mirror now, but I remember how much of a butt-kicker it was to first learn. And, to some extent, to learn again when I picked my practice back up. There was a lot of muscle memory still there, but my balance had to be re-learned and I couldn’t get as deeply into the movements as I was able to over a decade ago, when I was a decade younger and at the height of regular practice. It will be interesting to see what I can or cannot regain.